Pregnant or fat? Mental Health in Pregnancy

Finding of you're pregnant is one of the most exciting times in a woman's life. However, if you do or have suffered with a negative body image, an eating disorder, low self-esteem etc. it can also be a very hard and stressful time. Especially at the beginning. Your body begins to start changing out of nowhere and you've only just found out you're pregnant! This is when I struggled the most. Up until I had the scan, I was a mess. But after I saw baby at the 12 week scan, it put a lot into perspective for me. And I started thinking and doing differently.
Even if  you have never suffered with a negative body image, you may now and it's all new to you, which can be scary. I've suffered with a negative body image for as long as I can remember and whilst I am aware of this and have 'recovered' from my eating disorder, being pregnant has kind of brought it all back a bit.

But why? 

Because while pregnancy may be the most beautiful miracle and watching your baby bump grow is like watching your baby grow inside you, it is totally out of your control and that, that is scary. Even more so, when you've suffered from a eating disorder.

I can't choose what I eat - you have to be careful: nothing has raw eggs in, no smoked fish etc. so I'm constantly checking the back of food packaging (again), I get loads of different cravings - watermelon (safe), sausage rolls, crisps, chocolate (not so safe) - of course, I don't give in to a craving every time but it's still tough, I feel sick if I go too long not eating. I'm gaining weight everywhere and I can't do anything about it.

Don't get me wrong, I KNOW it's for a good reason. But it doesn't stop bringing back all those feelings I once had. I cry sometimes when I look in the mirror. My legs are fat. My thigh gap is almost non-existent. My arms are getting fatter. My face is getting chubbier. And my bump, just makes me look fat because it's not big enough yet to actually look like a baby bump. OKAY, so I am rambling a bit now. But maybe you can understand what I mean?

Many women struggle with this 'weight gain'. But what is so important to get across is that it's okay. You're not alone. And it does get easier. Trust me, as soon as baby is here, I'll be on a diet! But for now, I'm listening to my body and ignoring that evil voice in my head calling me fat (well trying to the best I can).

So here are my top tips to help keep those feelings at bay and learn to love your pregnancy curves!

Lose the scales!
Probably my most important tip for you. Lose those scales! It won't help whatsoever. What happens if you get on the scales and it says you've gained a stone, what are you going to do? Feel bad. Go on a diet. Potentially harm the baby. The only reason you may need to keep an eye on the scales is if you are severely overweight - of which, gaining too much weight will harm baby.

Something that unsettled me most was reading in a pregnancy magazine (and subsequently, a few online sites), that women should only gain 1-2 pounds in the first trimester!?!!

WHAT? So of course, I ran to the scales AGAIN. And weighed myself. Oh I've put on a stone in the first trimester. Great. Just great. I'm fat. That's it, i'm going to be huge now.

Don't get me wrong, part of me still feels like this. But the most important thing is baby. And considering I was like 'just' underweight (at 7 stone), I think I needed to gain this stone to make sure baby is supported properly.

Another thing to realise is, every woman's body is different. So don't read those stupid quotes in magazines and don't weigh yourself! Simple. Which brings me to my next point...

Don't compare yourself to others
This can be SO easy to do and is so important that you do not do. As I said, EVERY WOMAN IS DIFFERENT. No pregnancy, weight loss, mental health (ANYTHING) journey is ever the same. So why compare?

Those pregnant women in magazines, on clothing websites, yeah they look fab. They'll legs are tiny still. Their bump is perfectly shaped. They have no spots. Their hair is immaculate. Wanna know why? Airbrushing. And it's probably the same story of pictures you see on Instagram. No of course, some women are lucky enough to keep their shape and only gain a little weight and bump. And others gain a lot of weight and have a huge bump. But what does it matter? We all share that amazing miracle that is having a baby growing inside you. That we'll be parents soon.

As I said in an older post here, limit your social media time. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others obsessively, put down your phone and do something you enjoy. Paint your nails, read a book, go for a walk. That's what I do. And trust me, it helps.

Surround yourself with awesome people
Awesome. Positive. Ace. These are people you should be spending time with. Don't spend time with people who are going to put you down, make you feel like crap or make you stressed. You and baby are the most important people. Don't allow anyone to make you feel less than the beautiful, powerful woman you are.

It's so important at any time, but especially during pregnancy, when your feelings (emotionally and physically) are so up in the air, that you have positive people around you you can talk to. Who won't make you feel down, like you're being stupid feeling the way you do. How you feel is completely down to you, it's your feelings and don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

You're awesome.

Shopping 
Shopping always helps me feel better, that's why it's called Retail 'Therapy'. After I took the photos for this blog, I felt like my clothes made me look fat, and I got a bit upset. So my mum took me shopping and we got a few bits. Including this ace coat.

Wearing the right things
I have always loved baggy pants, like the ones in these photos. But in pregnancy, not only do they not hug you in so tight they show all your lumpy, bumpy bits, but they are super comfy to wear with your growing bump.

Another thing, I find helps me feel slimmer, confident and happy, is heels. Whether that's killed boots, heels like the ones here. So ace.

A bit of colour never goes a miss at making me happy. As you can see, I do love all black. You know, black is very slimming. So are stripes. And heels. Win win in this outfit. But colour, colour makes us happy. Add a bit of colour to your outfits to make you look confident and happy, and soon, you'll start feeling that. Feeling empowered. That's the reason I bought this bag in the first place.

Well I hope this blog helped you as much as it helped me writing it. Pregnancy is a real rollercoaster of emotions, just remember you are not alone.

If you have any tips yourself, get in touch on bloglovin' http://bit.ly/2dobNa3 or twitter @iamayselulu. Remember we're all in this together.